Cold Snap

He appears nervous, shifting his weight on one leg, then the other, as he informs me that he doesn't feel well and he's going home. He hands me his task list, turns around, and clocks out. I note that all of the work on the list has been completed early, which means he probably didn't take a morning or lunch break. I start to call after him, to ask if there is something wrong, but a moment of hesitation silences my question. It's none of my business if he wants to take the remainder of the day off; I've been thinking about taking a day or two myself.

The next morning a couple of maintenance workers find him slumped behind the steering wheel of his car in a parking lot near the coroner's office. Despite the lack of a note and no history of suicidal tendencies, his death is ruled "self-inflicted."

crack of a stick
underfoot —
killer frost

previously published in Haibun Today

Comments

[aurora]

I feel the chill of this one! I could go on and on about your form, which is exemplary, or how the haiku has just the right amount of "hit" to it, but I'd rather concentrate on the topic, which you've handled artfully. I think we've all been through situations like this, or similar, where we wonder if anything we could have said or done would have changed the outcome. It's good to see such an important topic handled this well. Kudos to you, Curtis.

[Bill Kenney]

Oh, yes, it's just as Aurora says. Something made me think just today of a student who committed suicide fifty years ago. And I still wonder if there's anything I could have done. And I also agree with Aurora about the merits of your haibun.

[Robert]

I don't know much about haibun but this strikes me as a powerful work.

[Jennifer]

This made me cry. Two guys at my school committed suicide last year.

[collin]

Powerful, Curtis.

[Claire]

A fine, fine unsettling piece of work.

[Curtis]

Thank you Aurora, Bill, Robert, Jennifer, Collin, and Claire. I sincerely appreciate your comments and input.

This one was difficult to write about, but I feel a little better having completed it.

[janet]

wow, curtis.

[Yu Chang]

Wow, Curtis! The chill down my spine.