with such calm
you speak of the mass,
the MRI— 
but will this look inside him
alter your view of the world?

 
     unaccustomed
     to change, but soon,
     even the intermingling
     shadows of trees
     will be parted


Modern English Tanka, summer 2006.

Comments

[janet]

p.s. these are kind of downers, sorry (well, the first one). fyi, the people for whom the first one was written have great attitudes and are doing pretty well for now.

[aurora]

Life is just like that, though, isn't it? - Ups and downs, and we have to write about them all.

I enjoyed the inquisitiveness of the first, and the mystery of the second.

[Curtis]

There is a strong sense of time and, perhaps, urgency in both of these poems. I enjoyed them very much.

[Bill Kenney]

The parting of shadows is a sriking image of change. As the intermingling of shadows is a powerful image of relationship.

[janet lynn davis]

thanks, aurora, curtis, bill. :) (bill, interesting how i came to write the second one - was both literal and metaphorical.)

[Cynthia]

the shadow tanka is so richly layered,
the last lines an echo.